I spilled my wine because I can’t poop on vacation.

Of course my parents thought I was drunk but I was only medium buzzed. I hadn’t pooped in at least 5 days so I started taking a laxative and stool softeners every day for the last 3 days. I was honestly expecting it to work after 1 day (because laxative), but after 3.7 days I got the bat signal in my belly. I was in a rush at that point but I was trying to set my glass on the stupid thick coaster right in the middle. It wasn’t in the middle and it tipped. I still had to go so I kind danced there saying I was sorry and really had to go. I don’t think I would have gone through all that but they had just bought this condo in Hawaii 6 months ago (a bit pricey).

I left their company for a few minutes and when I came back they had all the furniture pulled out with towels on the floor like a hurricane just came through. It was only a quarter full. Well they weren’t all that mad as far as mad parents go, BUT when I got another glass of wine my dad looked at me like it was the wine’s fault!! I had clearly described the situation so not sure what that was about. At least after all that we didn’t miss too much wheel of fortune. Oh! It was white wine and brown carpet. That matters.